One July Morning

That July morning, when I woke up to a different day – when I saw darkness around me in many forms, was the lowest day of my life. The symptoms were painful. I got myself to a doctor, series of tests…all suggesting I had severe Type 2 diabetes, huge stone in my gall bladder, hypertension amongst other ailments, all due to obesity.

Time stood still. But more than that, life stood still. 

I had no idea of Diabetes except that I had lost a few family members, who lost their limbs first before they passed on. And at very young age. I had a history of diabetes in my family. I felt I had no chance.  My doctor suggested getting the gall bladder out. But, he wouldn’t operate (or just couldn’t) on me as I had severe diabetes, which meant the chances of infection was very high and so was the healing time. I was scared inside to undergo surgery as I had no fall back option for my young twins if something were to happen to me. Those were dark days.  Long days and longer nights.  I felt alone. Miserable. Lost. 

 

Other than the diagnoses, I hated the feeling I had within. I felt extremely unwell. For the first time ever, I felt I couldn’t go on with life. I needed to end it all and start again.People who know me are shocked that I was going through all that — I just did not show it to anyone. It is common, amongst us women. We simply pretend all is well to the world, when inside we are crumbling.

 

It’s then I got off my ass and decided to give it a try. To start all over again without ending anything. I made the decision to get off my arse.  And GetOffMyAss I did!

I decided to take charge of my life…