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Author Archives: Raga D'silva

Walk With Me 

You walk down the street,

With eyes wide open.

You just walk and you follow your feet,

Feel the breeze and feel the sun.

Where will they take you? 

Have you ever let yourself see?

Will they take you to places they knew? 

Will they take you to your destiny?

Today I walked that path unknowingly,

My feet carrying me to places I couldn’t see,

Then it just happened, it flowed glowingly,

My feet, they had taken me on a new journey.

A shining light had appeared in sight,

Was I going to allow it or would I put up a fight?

These feet, should I let them be?

Allow them, step by step, to places I cannot yet see?
These feet have walked down rubbles and sand, 

Walked into oasis of emotions and pain not grand.

These feet, have also walked away from the thorny kind,

Those who appear to smile with a soul you cannot find,

These feet have also walked on fires – survived the burn,

These feet — these burnt feet – what have they learnt?

Stop, I say – turn around and walk the other way,

Stay in that place where only happiness can stay,

Hearing this, the feet look up and smile at me.

They say “love, walk with me, trust me. I will be your journey”.  

 
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Posted by on August 2, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

It Is What It Is – Part 1

It Is What It Is – Part 1

We suffer. Inside. Deeply. Often in despair. Inside. Silently. Outwardly, we smile. Working. Supporting others. Inside, there is chaos. True?

Then something shifts. The situation doesn’t change. The location does not change. The people around don’t change. Nothing changes. Yet, something huge changes.  Perhaps, finally, realisation hits.

And that is that realisation which brought me back from a place I never ever want to consciously or unconsciously go back to again. The suffering was not required. Pain wasn’t required. It is indeed all in the mind. It is indeed a choice. All we perhaps need is a place to house it.

All of us need to go away at times. I have done that on numerous occasions. When life got too tough for me, or my hurt was so deep, I simply just disengaged and went within. During those times,  I do not communicate. I just go away. In the past, when  I have come back, it is always with a temporary bandage, because the lessons either haven’t been learnt fully, or I haven’t allowed myself the acknowledgement of the healing that is needed.

This time, I wasn’t willing to do that.  I was tired of not feeling the joy within. I am a happy soul. Authenticity and positivity is what I am known for, and what comes naturally to me. But here I was, finding it hard to share myself and support others; because I had let my light dim away. By my own doing. My conversations with some of my friends prompted me to share this, so we can all perhaps get some pointers.

Here are my personal lessons:

  1. Are you digging deeper? – When the hole you dig is too deep – STOP : Very often we find ourselves in situations, mostly self-perpetuated and self-created; and as emotional beings, we live on ‘hope’ and ‘faith’. No matter how challenging it gets, we keep believing that things will change. They often do. But not always in the right direction. The hole keeps growing bigger and deeper. At some point, there is a huge danger of getting lost in that hole, and losing a sense of direction when in that deep, dark place. We need to know when to stop digging that hole, and get out. The hole doesn’t need us any more.
  2. Who are you spending most time with? – You are indeed the company you keep: We all have this experience. Imagine this. You are speaking with someone who has recently known someone who has met with an accident. They narrate the story to you. You listen. Then you add your bits to it and share a similar incident. Imagine if this person did this to you every day, every time they saw you. What would your state of mind become eventually? You would be in a perpetual state of sadness and grief. The point is, we work on auto pilot as humans. We start communicating in the manner that someone communicates with us. Around a positive, high energy, motivated person, we talk that language and over time, we become that language. That becomes who we are. Surrounding ourselves with such positive company is critical. We are the company we keep.
  3. What are you holding on to? – Know when to let go: We all love. We all feel. We all act rationally and irrationally, depending upon our situations, our circumstances and who we are as people. We all make mistakes. I tend to take everything as if I am to be blamed. It’s in my nature to think if something is going wrong, then it must be my fault. It is probably a deep rooted thing. But it does happen. That creates a huge problem. I don’t give up on challenges; thinking I can change it. But there in lies the problem. What if in reality the problem is not yours alone? Then can you change anything single handedly? It’s learning to let go of all that does not serve us in our holistic being anymore, is critical. Any relationship, any situation that demands you to doubt and question your own self, needs to be let go of. Otherwise the hole will get deeper. At times, the best thing you can do is move on. Accept that what may be best is to keep that feeling in your soul. Heal within. It doesn’t need to be more than that.
  4. Do you store pain? – Learning not just to Forgive but to really Forgive : A huge lesson. We all believe we forgive those whom we have allowed to hurt us. We don’t really. We let the hurt eat into us. Or, we simply store it away, thinking if we deny it, it will go. But it doesn’t go unless we acknowledge it, accept it, spend time understanding the how and the why, learning from it and then healing. I have stored pain that I cannot even remember. But the cells remember. At times I have felt unbearable pain, taking me into darkness I don’t even understand. This is deep rooted as well. I have now made a choice not to let any pain get stored. If it means, I have to step away, work on myself and heal, I do that. All I store is love, happiness and joy within.
  5. So, what is it ? – It is WHAT it IS: This is the biggest truth I learnt. It is what it is. This is life.  This is how life is. There is no one to blame. No one to point fingers at. Each one is playing their part in this world. Each one bears their own cross. Each one has their own lessons to learn and each one has their own growth path. What we need to do is just make the most of each day. What is truly ours is time. And time is precious. It is not something any one of us can take for granted. None of us can say how long we will be here. My time here is very limited, perhaps. I know that. But do I really know that? Does it matter how long? how much?  I am going to make the most of what I have and accepting that it is what it is, that’s my biggest learning from life.

“The nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons.They arise from sense perception,and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed.”
― Anonymous, The Bhagavad Gita

“A Ticking Time Bomb”.

That was the blunt description given the mounting problem of Type 2 Diabetes within the South Asian Diaspora community in the United Kingdom a few years ago.

According to research, immigrants to the UK from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and other nations from South Asia are six times more likely than the indigenous white population to develop Type 2 Diabetes.

Whilst current evidence is inconclusive as to why British Asians are more susceptible to the disorder, medical experts have pointed to the twin evils of a diet high in carbohydrates and saturated fatty acids (all those chapattis and rice dishes) as well as alarmingly low levels of physical activity, especially among older South Asian women, as two of the most significant contributory factors to a problem that is certain to put a huge burden on families and the community at large.

Alarmingly, there is widespread ignorance about Type 2 Diabetes within the community, according to medical experts, which threatens the lives of thousands.

Mumbai-born, with ten amazing years in New Zealand, now North London-based marketing and advertising expert, Raga D’silva was among those ignorant masses.

The 46-year-old mother of twins, whose family had a history of Diabetes, was diagnosed with this illness in 2012. The news brought about a radical change in Raga and has inspired her to help others with Diabetes and raise awareness.

Raga is the Asian Ambassador for Diabetes UK.

 

 
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Posted by on July 25, 2017 in Emotional well-being, Motivation

 

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Which face is my friends? 

Eyes smile, eyes laugh

They say you can see soul in the eyes

I saw yours – and trusted…

That face which shared my pain

Held my hand, cried my tears.

Then the face changed!

The eyes smiled and laughed

I still saw glimpses of the soul

Still sharing my pain

Still holding my hand

This time I clearly saw though

The shiny knife held close to my heart

Ready to stab as soon as my head turned

As it perhaps have been

Which face was my friends? 

I keep wondering and wondering

Until it all made sense within

There was only ever one face

Half soul, hidden on smiles and laughs

Fully hidden by lies lived in the soul

Carrying a knife

Covered in the trust of friendship

Covered in the blood of a stabbed friend

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Winds of Change

The billion stories in her smile,
Walking, running, clocking every mile.
Grey in her hair, lines on her face,
Ageing, loving, growing, learning with grace.
That once was, will never again be,
This caged bird is now free.
The scars will never go out of style,
Emotions will simply stay on for a while.
I still have promises to keep,
A million miles to go before that sleep.

 
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Posted by on May 25, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Dear Zindagi – Let the cloud shine

Dear Zindagi – Let the cloud shine

It’s raining and the music is loud,
It’s finally here, my magical cloud.
My cloud has the rain and the light,
It washes all the negatives in sight.
My cloud, she plays with the sun and the moon,
When tired, she holds herself in a spoon.
She dances, laughs, curses and cries,
When against the storm, she fights, she tries.
My cloud holds the magic to the world,
Life in the cloud, is my love unfurled.

 
 

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Masked or … ?

Masked or … ?

Deep laughter of a special kind,
Twinkle in her eyes, where did she find?
Happiness shining within her soul
Energetic chatter, hugs galore
Spreading warmth, sharing smiles
Pouring positivity, walking miles
Are you for real, she was asked
Is she? Or is she just beautifully masked

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2017 in authenticity, Uncategorized

 

DARK DESPAIR – AND THEN I FOUND LIGHT

DARK DESPAIR –  AND THEN I FOUND LIGHT

Months, weeks of despair. Some reasons I knew, some I didn’t. Past pain, life’s struggles, family, home, work, challenges, fears, insecurities, hurt, desires, needs, rejections,  and just expectations from self. Whatever it was, it had brought me to a point of this >>>Reach out and heal. It was from me to me. I had reached that point where I was ready to let it all go.

I reflected seriously. What is it that was so troubling me that I had reached this point.

I have had no real answers, except that through life we do accumulate a lot of pain, suffering, troubles, hurts, some of them caused by us, some by others. We let it go. But we don’t really let it go. We STORE them within us. That negative emotion is like an infection, unknown to us, it spreads within our cells. Our bodies respond to it in the form of illnesses – physical and that of the mind. And we don’t even realise that it is all caused by our own desire to be pain free.

In wanting to be pain free, we cause ourselves more pain.

Three days ago, I FORCED myself to snap out of it. I was tired of me. I was beyond exhausted of being this person. I was tired of pretending to be happy, masking my pain. I wanted OUT. But instead of wanting out in the self sabotaging manner, I decided to make a note of what it was that made me happiest. For me,  I was happiest when I gave a bit of myself to the world, in my own little way.

I realised what is critical for us is to :

  1. Embrace life – accept that there will be ups and downs. Fold your hands and accept it
  2. Heal – it is most critical to heal from whatever baggage one is carrying.
  3. Be grateful – as long as we are breathing, we need to be grateful. Regardless of what else we have in life. This is a huge thing to have.
  4. Find a purpose – this is what gives meaning to life. It’s different for each one of us, and it can change with age. But FIND a PURPOSE. Then nurture it. Don’t reject that purpose; as that will give your soul happiness
  5. Love yourself – Very critical. We must love ourselves much more than we expect anyone else to love us. That is when true soul happiness comes.
  6. Exercise and eat healthy – I cannot tell you how critical this is. For weeks, through my dark despairing times, I ate poorly, drank nearly every day to suppress my pain, hardly exercised and even smoked occasionally. Why? Because I thought it would help me soothe my deep soul pain. Did it? No, it only made it darker for me.

None of us will ever be free of all this. This is life. This is how it happens.

The moment I embraced this reality, I found my purpose, and I found a meaning to my life. My life I have dedicated to those who can benefit from me. I have personally renounced my desires for any thing beyond this. And in this, I will find my peace.

Wishing us all a lot of love, laughter, happiness, peace and more than anything a real PURPOSE in life.

Be like the Sun. A poem I wrote at 3 am on my birthday, when I was in such darkness that I could have totally gone. 

Glad I found the sun within. Find yours. Heal.

 

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Be like the sun

May laughter reach those eyes
And hide those painful lies
That soul wrenching pain you feel
Let not your shine it steal
keep walking with head held high
Look up, as your eyes search the sky
There is your answer you know
Be like the sun, put on a show
May happiness feed your soul
And hide that deep gashing hole
That despairing cry that whispers through?
Let it out; don’t let it brew
Walk like there is no tomorrow
Be like the sun, put on a show
Shine like you carry a billion lights
Give up this pain, give up this fight
Spread warmth, happiness wherever you go
Put your best suit on with a tie and bow
Smile with the truth, only you know
Be like the sun, put on a show

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2017 in authenticity

 

REACH OUT AND HEAL

REACH OUT AND HEAL

Your soul is in darkness,
And you believe there is nothing left to feel,
Your life feels empty in its starkness,
Reach out to me, my friend, I will help you heal .
Others have journeyed through those dark places as well,
Stop in the moment, trust, hang in there and not farewell,
When you feel engulfed in despair, helplessness and deep pain,
Stop in that moment, feel the beauty of the cloud that passes as rain.
When your heart seems empty and you have nothing to feel,
Reach out to me, my friend, and I will help you heal.
The path we choose is not easy, and it can get rough,
It may take us to places that seem despairing and tough,
Just look at it as a humbling journey as road blocks we find,
Stop and think of the beautiful memories and simply rewind.
When your heart seems empty and you have nothing to feel,
Reach out, my friend, and I will help you heal .\r

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2017 in authenticity

 

Masked or .. ? 

Masked or .. ? 

Deep laughter of a special kind,

Twinkle in her eyes, where did she find?

Happiness shining within her soul

Energetic chatter, hugs galore

Spreading warmth, sharing smiles

Pouring positivity, walking miles

Are you for real, she was asked

Is she? Or is she just beautifully masked

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2017 in Uncategorized

 
 
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