What holds us back?

30 Dec
What holds us back?

We will all start the new year with new goals, commitments, make promises to ourselves – all of which we will very quickly start making excuses for and very quickly forget. After all, isn’t that what new years are for? 🙂

We want things to change for us. We seek transformation. We all want new beginnings.  Yet, something holds us back.

I have had enough years in my life to know the reality from the illusion. I have made numerous excuses over the years. Most of it I have absolutely believed in until I have reflected over a glass of … *cough cough.

So, what holds us back?

The answer, is not in the ‘what’, it’s in the ‘who’.

Who holds us back? I, me, myself. We hold ourselves back. The reasons may differ for us individually; however on reflection and discussions with various people around me, I discovered 3 key reasons, which I am sharing:

Self limiting beliefs: We totally allow ourselves to believe that what we cannot do. See? We speak to ourselves – in a negative manner. Even when we positively affirm that ‘the sky is my limit’, we set ourselves limits. We make excuses for not making changes – whether it is of mind or body or soul. How many times have I said, “I am travelling hence not able to make right choices of food. My life is so busy I am unable to exercise. It’s Diwali, I can’t help but eat all those goodies. I haven’t seen my friend in years, so I need to binge”

We limit ourselves and we absolutely believe  that is right for us. We tell ourselves constantly that we don’t deserve it. And we allow other people’s negative energies and talk dictate what is right for us. We allow ourselves to be held back.

The first thing I did for myself was become ‘free’, which means exactly that. ‘Free”. I live my life fully on my terms (that’s not always a good thing 🙂. When I find myself speaking negative, I stop. It’s hard. It’s a continuous cycle because it’s taken years of practice to be negative to myself, and therefore I am very aware that it won’t change overnight.

Our fears: We are all so fearful of fear. We fear failure. What if we start something and fail at it. That’s a scary place for us. We even fear success. What if we succeed and then what? Will that mean we have to keep succeeding? That’s a scary place again. We fear pain, we fear emotions, we fear feelings, we fear change, we fear hurt. Yet, we want it all. Yet, we know that without pain we will not be able to achieve what we seek. Our fears hold us back for sure.

Imagine going to the gym, listening to your favourite tunes on your iPhone, getting on the treadmill and walking at a speed of a snail. And then thinking ‘hey, I exercised today’. But over time we see no change. No pain. No gain. The real achievement is when you get into that gym and sweat it out with the max you are able to, completely outside your comfort zone; come out of that gym feeling like a warrior. That is pain. But that brings change.

What if we stopped fearing? What if we let them go – one by one, gradually. Be in a state of great intent and purity. Nothing matters then. Except our own transformation.

Our environment: We allow our environment to hold us back.We worry about what society will think. You know I dreaded going to the gym for years after I gained weight, worrying about what the others at the gym will think. It took me months of focussing on myself to realise that no one was even worrying about me. They were worrying about the same thing :).

We create our own environment. Look around you, the people you hang out with are a direct representation of the environment you have chosen to create for yourself. If you are amongst positive people, every bit of your life will be upswing and positive. Negative people have the same impact – but in the opposite way. When we start allowing the environment to dictate who we should be, that’s when we know that we are holding ourselves back.

Be in a place that represents you fully. The fact that you are reading this blog demonstrates that you want to make that change, that transformation – of reclaiming health, reclaiming life, of living each day with the best intent to make a true difference to your life and others. Come and join me in that pursuit and let’s support each other in that transformation.

My story so far:

“A Ticking Time Bomb”.

That was the blunt description given the mounting problem of Type 2 Diabetes within the South Asian Diaspora community in the United Kingdom a few years ago.

According to research, immigrants to the UK from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and other nations from South Asia are six times more likely than the indigenous white population to develop Type 2 Diabetes.

Whilst current evidence is inconclusive as to why British Asians are more susceptible to the disorder, medical experts have pointed to the twin evils of a diet high in carbohydrates and saturated fatty acids (all those chapattis and rice dishes) as well as alarmingly low levels of physical activity, especially among older South Asian women, as two of the most significant contributory factors to a problem that is certain to put a huge burden on families and the community at large.

Alarmingly, there is widespread ignorance about Type 2 Diabetes within the community, according to medical experts, which threatens the lives of thousands.

Mumbai-born, with ten amazing years in New Zealand, now North London-based marketing and advertising expert , Raga D’silva was among those ignorant masses.

The 45-year-old mother of twins, whose family had a history of Diabetes, was diagnosed with this illness in 2012. The news brought about a radical change in Raga and has inspired her to help others with Diabetes and raise awareness.

Raga is the Asian Ambassador for Diabetes UK.





Posted by on December 30, 2015 in Exercise, Uncategorized


2 responses to “What holds us back?

  1. Leigh Johnson

    December 30, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    Hi there Raga. You advice is so timely.
    We spend so much of our lives trying to change ourselves and listening to the voices in our head that tell us we are not good enough. The truth is that we are already good enough, always were and always will be.

    Learning to be more authentic and not holding back is simply about letting things be. But while it is simple, that does not mean it is easy.

    All the best for being yourself in 2016.

    Leigh (

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Meeta Parekh

    January 6, 2016 at 7:43 pm

    My dear Raga..just read this beautiful. .inspiring. .motivational mail. Thank you dear. Receiving email makes one feel kinda special coz it’s personal. You have written so well..I went for a vacation to Dubai..all my exercise n food routines went for a you rightly put ..there should be no excuses even while travelling. .now that I’m back n with 2016 just begun. .it’s time to start fresh n keep going..I don’t use this email id very much..hence the delay in replying. .my current id is for your interview. .very proud of is very inspiring.. lots of love xxx Meeta



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