15 Jul

Am I willing to have a relationship with myself?

That’s a question I ask myself often. It may sound silly and I can see you thinking, ‘God help me, for being with me‘ LOL, but jokes apart, seriously, have you ever considered committing to yourself in that way? In a way you commit to your relationships? In a way that you are with your own partners.

I am not commitment-phobic, but I definitely need to  learn to fully commit. I fear:

1. Taking the first step

 2: How to keep the fire burning

Both are are equally tough barriers to break. For the longest time, I found myself running away from taking that first step. I knew that taking the first step meant committing. Commitment means discipline, focus, determination, giving up things you love for a while at least, being more responsible about the choices one makes, and so on. That is truly a tough one. It’s like getting into a relationship with yourself.  And telling yourself, you are committed to you. Then following through with that commitment. It is not easy. I have let myself down so many times, that I feared that commitment.

I eventually took the first step, and stuck with it for a long time. I dropped a few sizes, my confidence came back  and more so, I regained my health. Then I lost the most dear person in my life, my mother. I went back into a hole. It’s like I divorced myself. I decided I was going to self-sabotage to deal through the pain. Slowly, the weight and the dysfunctions returned. The same old patterns re-surfaced. Poor choices began to make their way back in. My divorced self decided to let go of the relationship with me.

Then I re-committed. And every now and again I falter. I give in to temptations. I hurt – I eat. I feel pain – I drink. I feel tired – I eat. I feel upsetI skip exercise and get into my duvet. And that pattern continues.

Yet, taking that first step has its own excitement. It’s new, it’s fun. It’s euphoric. You are getting to know your own body, your patterns, your own inner self better. You wake up each morning and decide that it will be your day.  Until…one day, the desire, the motivation diminishes. The excitement of the new-ness goes. The excuses start creeping back in. Every thing starts being an effort.

That’s the barrier that I need to break is to stay motivated long after the excitement of committing to something new has diminished.  Just like how it can get in a relationship. How does one stay motivated?

By taking the Vows and staying committed.

So, I am making FIVE vows to me:

Vow 1: I shall change my perspective of looking at change.

I am committing to my own self growth, for my good, and having a relationship with myself so I can live a longer, healthier life. That in itself should be enough motivation.

Vow 2: I shall re-tune my thinking

No one is asking me to give up on food and spirits, or whatever keeps me excited. It’s not a punishment, it’s a lifestyle. Make small changes for food choices and add exercise. Be consistent and do it every day.

Vow 3:I shall only be amongst like-minded people

This is the biggest asset that one can build. When people are on a journey together, they won’t ever tell you ‘one last drink’, or ‘have this for me’, or ‘come on, it’s only for a day’. They will support you, understand your ups and downs, and still be with you. That’s why I choose to be around you positive people.

Vow 4: I shall stay away from negativity

I will be amongst those who love me and  are willing to share in my journey. Negativity sucks energy. There are many out there happily waiting to  inject their negativity into me. I am staying away from it. I don’t deserve it and I don’t need it in my life.

Vow 5: I shall learn to love myself unconditionally 

This to me is the most critical vow. When we love ourselves (obviously in a functional way),we know the right choices to make. Food, body, mind, spirit, all aspects. The motivation will come on its own.I vow to love myself unconditionally. I may not be easy to live with, and will have my good days and bad, but hey, if I don’t love myself, who else will?

The barriers will break only by remembering that we can control our mind. That’s where it is all stored. The motivation. Come, let’s continue on this journey, together.

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My story so far:

“A Ticking Time Bomb”.

That was the blunt description given the mounting problem of Type 2 Diabetes within the South Asian Diaspora community in the United Kingdom a few years ago.

According to research, immigrants to the UK from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and other nations from South Asia are six times more likely than the indigenous white population to develop Type 2 Diabetes.

Whilst current evidence is inconclusive as to why British Asians are more susceptible to the disorder, medical experts have pointed to the twin evils of a diet high in carbohydrates and saturated fatty acids (all those chapattis and rice dishes) as well as alarmingly low levels of physical activity, especially among older South Asian women, as two of the most significant contributory factors to a problem that is certain to put a huge burden on families and the community at large.

Alarmingly, there is widespread ignorance about Type 2 Diabetes within the community, according to medical experts, which threatens the lives of thousands.

Mumbai-born, with ten amazing years in New Zealand, now North London-based marketing and advertising expert , Raga D’silva was among those ignorant masses.

The 45-year-old mother of twins, whose family had a history of Diabetes, was diagnosed with this illness in 2012. The news brought about a radical change in Raga and has inspired her to help others with Diabetes and raise awareness.

Raga is the Asian Ambassador for Diabetes UK.


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